kar0ling

My first experience was so painful, that I’m very grateful I had so few proposals of marriage while in Cameroon (probably because I took pains to avoid being in a situation where it could happen again). Nevertheless, I was frustrated, agitated, bewildered, by what on earth possessed these men to propose to a woman they’d just met. Of course, as a white woman, I represent all the fantasies of appealing, prosperous, decadent North America. I represent these things, and I pose a path to attaining them. But... A random woman you've just met? What on earth are you thinking?! I posed this question to the ever-ready-with-a-both-wise-and-cheeky-answer Dan, who replied, “What’s a guy got to lose? The worst you can do is say no. “...but if he never asks, he has no chance of ever receiving a yes.” Thank you, Cameroonian men, for giving me a model for taking risks. When I’m about to let fear of failure or of rejection stop me from trying, I think of those marriage proposals. What’s ...

I met an American nurse who started some AIDS education classes for pastors' wives at a remote Cameroonian seminary. She quickly realized sex education was necessary first for the women to even have a clue what she was talking about. With the help of a fluent Pidgin speaker, she was trying to talk about sexual intercourse and not at all sure her students were understanding. "Do you have a way of saying it other than 'come together'?" she asked. Her translator, a young, unmarried woman, blushed and didn't know how to answer. There was a pause while women in the class conferred, then finally an older woman stood up. "Yes, Ma," she said, in the formal, respectful way. "We just say 'fuck'."