Skip to main content

Mystery worshipper 2

Do you have nightmares about not knowing what to do? Is the thought of not knowing when to stand or sit paralyzing? Are you uncomfortable when you don’t know what to say?

Usually, I’d say yes to all of those, but when it comes to spiritual tourism, I’m reasonable blasé about the whole thing. It’s not my tradition. I’m there to experience the service and to worship alongside as well as I can. That’s enough for me.

But I was struck at the difference it makes without a bulletin/program. The prolific paper output required for their multi-page handout at the Anglican churches I frequent is always slightly disturbing from an environmental point of view, but I greatly appreciate being able to follow along with the above variables.

However, at the cathedral tonight, there was no program. So I just stood quietly when the mass mumbling arose (except for the Lord’s Prayer where I’m always thrown that Catholics stop before “for thine is the kingdom....”).

The song numbers were listed on a board (a subtle feature I missed at first), but did not seem to correlate with what was being sung until the last few songs. 

It consistently surprises me how poor high churches seem to be at communicating about themselves. Evangelical churches, it could be argued, and probably fairly, are unhealthily obsessed with new people (whether or not their actions make it likely to attract any). In spite all of that, they still have some massive gaps in judgement when it comes to welcoming newcomers, but at least ushers who hand you a bulletin at the door and direct you to a seat are a given.

Often, when I seek for information about services at Catholic or United churches, I’m lucky if I can find a web presence at all, updated more recently than three or four years ago, much less information about this weekend’s service. I’m baffled at the inattention to making it possible for worshippers to find them. Are they so sure people will know where they are, when their services are, and just show up, without any information to help them out with the right time and place? (I recall an interview reported in the Free Press where a United Church minister had an “ah-ha!” moment after chatting with some evangelical types: “Oh, you greet people at the door and try to make them feel welcome?”) The cathedral has updated their website, making it much easier to see when their services are.

What does give me nightmares when it comes to church services did transpire, however. Someone passed out.

At first, I thought it was simply an excessively long pause in the action while... I don’t know. A reader collected him or herself to move to the front? This isn’t my tradition, so I don’t know what all goes on.

When someone got up and purposefully marched over to another section of pews to what I now realized was a bit of a commotion, it became clear that someone was in some state of physical unwellness.

This is the moment I fear every time I am leading a service.

When I was a child, I saw a man turn white and green and grey and fall over from a heart attack in the middle of a service. Across the church, when she realized what was going on, an RN sprang up with a shout to call an ambulance as she rushed to his side, but the pastor merely paused long enough to say “someone please help the man out” and continued with his sermon. That felt very uncomfortable to me.

Many years later, when a senior lady slowly collapsed while I was leading singing, I didn’t know what to do, not wanting to repeat the seemingly insensitive actions of my previous pastor nor wanting to cause undue commotion by halting abruptly. I believe I finished the verse/chorus that I was on then stopped. We paused all proceedings until the paramedics had left.

A few years later, another senior lady collapsed at church. Both times I was so grateful for a number of medically trained people at church who immediately but calmly came to the assistance. In the meantime, the pastor calmly suspended what was going on and just stood at the front, looking unflapped and in control.

So, what would this priest do? He chose to continue the service.

This did seem like a reasonable thing to do in the moment given the size of the congregation. People likely would have gotten restive and started chatting. The collapsee may have felt uncomfortable to have so much attention. Some congregation members may have various reasons to be triggered by the event and would find the familiar rhythms of the service distracting at least, or, at best calming.

The choice to continue the service did become a problem when the first responders arrived just as the boys in robes carrying pikes and candles were trying to lead the congregation up the aisles for communion. Poor firefighters had to fight their way past the sea of people whom a suddenly appearing usher-like character was trying to redirect on another path. In any case, the movement of people for communion was problematic for the first responders, however, the service was calm and progressed to its end without undue delay. (An advantage in an evangelical church is that the sermon is the bulk of the second half of the service, and its length is under the pastor’s control. This priest rushed through his incantations rather quickly in the first moments of picking up the rhythm after the halt.)

So, maybe there’s not one right way to do it, but several different approaches all with pros and cons.

It was another interesting experience in worshipping in an unfamiliar church, one I highly recommend to everyone (not being present while someone collapses -- that I don't recommend at all! -- but visiting a church of another tradition).

Comments

I actually don't like that we continue the Lord's Prayer beyond what the Gospels hold. That 'for thine is the kingdom' section is only found in the Didache and was supposed to be an addition only on services where the Eucharist is taken.
kar0ling said…
Oh, interesting. I love that part, especially in Dutch. “Want van uw is de koningkrijk, de kracht, and de heerlijkheid, tot in euwigheit. Amen.” So fun to say.

I thought of that last night when we recited the Lord’s Prayer at the W of P f C U and said the whole thing despite the presence of Winnipeg's two archbishops, and the key event organizer being a Catholic priest. Is this awkward for them, I wondered?

Popular posts from this blog

Our pensions for ICE? Stop it now!

A campaign from LeadNow with a few spicy sentences from me. The CPP is funded by the wages of 22 million people across the country, LeadNow says, and the Investment Board has a responsibility to ensure those savings are not used in ways people fundamentally reject. Dear Mr. John Graham, CEO of CPPIB, and CPPIB board members, I am writing as a contributor to the Canada Pension Plan—one of millions of people whose wages fund this plan and whose future depends on it. This is our CPP, and it must answer to us. I am horrified that CPP investments include companies linked to U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE). In effect, the people who pay into CPP are having their own money used to help fund Trump-era immigration enforcement and the harms associated with it. Canadians are appalled by the actions of ICE. What a betrayal you would use our own money to fund these bullies violating human rights.  CPP is not abstract capital—it is our deferred wages. Contributors should not ...

Keep Israeli warmongers out

Dear Mr Carney After promising to follow international law and arrest Benjamin Netanyahu, you lost your nerve and failed to deny him passage through Canadian airspace.  However, you finally spoke up after Minister Ben Gvir's egregious display of sadism. Now you have another chance to keep that backbone tall, standing against genocide, by preventing the representatives of Elbit Systems and Israel Aerospace Industries from attending CANSEC in Ottawa on May 27 – 28, 2026.  This request was recently brought to your attention by ICJP and Just Peace Advocates. In their request, they provided significant evidence in support of our position that entry ought to be denied under section 35(1) of the IRPA, on the basis of the companies’ ongoing cooperation with the Israeli military during its alleged war crimes, crimes against humanity, and genocide perpetrated against the Palestinian people in Gaza since October 7, 2023. Elbit is Israel's largest private defence contractor. Its finan...

Bread not bombs

Yesterday, I saw a post from a Dutch antiwar organization: Geen Bommen maar bomen. “Not bombs; trees instead.” I love it.  Today, I saw a campaign from MCC: “bread, not bombs.” So I wrote adapted their letter to write to the prime minister et al.: Sure, money is important, but even more crucial is air to breathe and food to eat.  War makes money for a tiny fragment of human population, but for the vast majority, war means displacement, loss, deprivation and at worst death. Even for those far away from war, like here in Canada, every bomb that drops leaves not only a crater in some distant soil but also further deepens the desperate carbon crisis we are in, which will exact its retribution faster and faster in wildfires, droughts and floods.  That is why I am writing to you today.  Canadians did not vote for war in the 2025 election.  War does not lead to security.  How could the hunger, displacement, and worsening impacts of climate change lead to sec...