kar0ling

“We don’t really have customs and traditions,” says the keen young woman explaining the Baha’i faith at a multifaith educational open house. Then, she proceeds to explain Baha'is have 19-day months, have 11 holy days of which 9 are mandatory to abstain from work and school, and they have weekly junior youth groups for ages 11-15. Why are we so afraid of admitting to having customs? It’s a religious tradition! Of course there are ritual practices and corporate habits. Is this the influence of oh-so-pious evangelicals who like to say, “It’s not a religion; it’s a relationship”? Is it post-modernism that makes us all want to be unencumbered the the strictures of someone else's philosophy? What is it that we resist admitting we all do? Rituals can be deadening, sure, or worse, abusive, but managed well they are shaping in constructive ways. Anyone who has tried to develop skills has learned that to become really good at something, you just need to push through hou...

Expect people to surprise you. At CMU's February Face2Face event, I think this advice from student Marnie Klassen may be the most practical take away of the panel discussion on polarization in society. Radio host Larry Updike and journalist Will Braun had lots of good stories that illustrated this point, but I think Marnie's exhortation, especially alongside her observation that no one is only one thing, are the best attitude shifts that could lead to a less heated tone of conversation between those who disagree. I think this is cheerful Christian scientist (how's that for a bunch of paradox!) Katharine Hayhoe's approach as well. She is always looking for how she can find the values and interests of those who want to resist climate change, so she can demonstrate how ecological responsibility can fit into their priorities. I'm often surprised when my friends with whom I share many perspectives suddenly don't agree with me on something. But this is so hopeful, be...

I judge other churches. When I visit your church, I take note of whether you’ve got a bike rack, and whether it’s a good one, installed properly. I pay attention to whether your doors open to the street or the parking lot. Then I go in and it continues. Granted, I’m usually there for a specific purpose, not trying to find a new worshipping community, so I don’t need you to say hi to me or greet me warmly. But I judge you if you don’t. Did anyone give me a bulletin? Direct me to what I might need, be that a coat rack, the location of the sanctuary, a bathroom, etc.? Let’s be honest, I’m usually late, so did anyone come up after the service to say hi, introduce themselves, welcome me? It’s amazing how many failing marks most churches get. The desire to leave that awkward space and not hang around waiting for no one to talk to me is a great reminder that when I’m at home in my own congregation, there is some urgency to going over to greet that new person before he or she leaves with...

“State of the art” is usually the first sign of miserable malfunction. In my old office building, staff were forbidden to touch the temperature control for the state of the art ventilation system. Attempting to adjust had no bearing on the temperature of the room you were in, although it might cause discomfort in another part of the building. I’m always the coldest person in the room anyway, so I assumed it was my lot in life to be perpetually cold, unable to do anything about it other than load on sweaters and drink hot liquids. So, in my new office building – a much older edifice than the former – I simply assumed that the frigid temperature of my space was meant to be and couldn’t be changed. Drawing to the end of a cold day, an office mate popped her head in to say hi. How’s it going? she asked. Oh great, I replied. I’m happy to be here and everyone has been so hospitable. (I’m sharing office space with a related organization as my own has only 1.5 FTE staff in the city and n...